A Colourful Life of Colourful People

Thursday, July 06, 2006

just as she thought everything was smooth-sailing, the entire world crashed on her-- much more heavier than before.

She was so elated to hear that she could get her seniors their shirt by thursday and the shirts could be their farewell gift. but bad news striked. the shirts couldn't be delivered by thursday, due to a miscommunication. not only did she have to answer to her teacher-in-charge, she also had to answer to all her members. it has been delayed for a long long while. she sunk low into the seat that was supposed to comfortable, but at that point in time it just felt like a quicksand engulfing her.

So she embarked on her journey to carve candles as substitute souvenirs for those leaving. Nodding off, but she still had to do it. She couldn't disappoint her teachers, nor her seniors. Late into the night, she was still sitting alone at the low rosewood coffee table, warming the compass that scalded her hand. but she continued.all was in her mind wad giving her seniors something nice, something that had her sincerity and something that she had put her entire heart into doing.

the next day she dragged herself out of bed. all she was looking forward to was 3pm. but everything just failed. no one knew what they had to do, rather, they forgot.so everything was in chaos. even the teachers were so so disappointed with her as well as her organising committee. she failed to even organise a farewell party.

she was so disappointed at her juniors. one claimed: i just want to come here, eat and go home.

but what nearly put her to tears was that the seniors closest to her gave her a tight hug, told her to work and strive hard. she swore to strive hard with her seniors' words with her, along the long journey.

However, she was feeling very very tired already. along came relationship problems that was extremely taxing for her. she really felt like crying like nothing mattered, but there wasn't a place where she could do so. home wasn't one for her. she didn't know who to turn to. she felt as if she was in this endless maze that she could never get out of.

she had this dream. and she woke up crying. she cried herself back to sleep again.

she couldn't believe she actually told another friend to call her when she's down, when she couldn't handle herself well. she was just so so tired. sometimes she just felt like dying. but she knew she wouldn't. it was just a moment of angst that would creep up on her and she would think that jumping down the building would put an end. she knew that was idiotic. but at least it was a fantasy to let her escape.

how much she wished she could actually live in denial,in her own fantasy island. Yet deep within her she knew that she had to face up to reality and accept the challenges. she would stand up strong. she would.

I had a real good time @ 9:38 PM
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