Thursday, July 21, 2005

Life's boring. don't you ever agree? the day was busy with two consecutive tests and i have a feeling i am going to flunk it. i memorised and memorised despite my lack of sleep because of somebody who did not reply even when i sent the file. urgh. sorry. i know i was harsh...
english was boring without MSN and so kuolyn and i typed in microsoft word to communicate. well...PC i finally found out who wrote the waste of money, jinkee was wrong. it was indeed pebbles who did it. tsk tsk...hehex...jkjk....recess went....biology test was pretty tough and i haf two MCQ chopped with *wrong* already...chinese test was even tougher even though i enjoyed watching somebody struggle. KIDDING. see? you need more luck than i do. mug la! but it was indeed tough and i am not optimistic about the results. lunch went hurry burry maths was boring (yawn) but as usual, i loved it. history we were writing a stupid story....a very stupid story..
i shan't elaborate on malay but thanks eve- for accompanying me to bishan. and we finally got the prezzies. i pity yongting, birthday same as bryan...nevermind..yongting you're much better than some airhead!! teehee...no offence dude...

There is longing, a yearning in my heart.
I reach for you. I know you are reaching for me.
But I cannot reach you. Something is keeping us apart.
What is that?
I feel like there is a vacuum in my heart.
I am living but I don’t really feel alive.
How can I feel alive without that?
How can I reach you without that?
How can you reach me without that?
We are apart? But we don’t know.
What’s really keeping us apart?
Only lately I found out that I don’t have it.
I used to have it.
And I lost it.
I did not know I lost it.
But I know all the time that something is missing.
There is no life in my life.
I feel dead. At all cost.
I must get it back again.
Without it life is not worth living.
How foolish I was to neglect that and
Turn all my body and mind
Toward such superficial things.
Now my heart is crying.
What a lie I’ve lived.
What a waste it would be to live all my life like this.
How meaningless!
Can I overcome my wrong conditioning?
Have I enough courage to overcome this lie?
Can I live a healthy, meaningful life?
Am I healthy enough to become really healthy again?
To become a really whole and complete human being again? (Sayadaw U Jotika)

<>Once I was afraid of losing my friends because of my changing understanding and values. But, slowly, now I am able to accept that. I must be true to myself.- i await for this day to arrivei

to do list:

feature article
powerpoint
malay book review
malay project
order of cake
geography presentation
sorting out of feelings
a good sleep


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nopunevigeviknihtitubpihsdneirfeurtrofnraeyillatay
ppahtniaiefilsihtfoderitmitcafnidneirfymfotnorfniya
sotgnihtonevahiyhwteiuqosdenruteviyadothcumosde
silaerignideelbsitraehymevitomronlaogatuohtiwssel
gninaemyllatotsmeesefilysubehtrofgniyrruhisawtah
wyrruhhcumosetipseddesilaeripihsdneirfhcumosotd
neehtsti


I had a real good time @ 7:36 PM
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _





yours truly
Mabel
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